There's something about the guy that keeps him in high demand during the various hunting seasons. This man is very adament about wearing the proper clothing, no jewelry, no perfumes, no make up, nothing that will make un-natural noises or scents. His sence of hearing is amazing, he prides himself for being able to hear a mouse fart at 300 yards... that I'm sure is an exaduration, but probably not by much. Funny thing is... he sounds like an elephant walking through the woods, he seems to kick every rock and snap every branch, but goodness knows if someone with him does, he'll turn with an exasperated look on his face and motion for silence. He uses special laundry soap for his hunting clothes, he has earth scented body wash and shampoo. Once he even bought some deer pee to cover his scent (I went totally balistic when I found the little spray bottle in the frige with our food! He's not brought home any since then).
With all this ultra-careful attention to mask his scent and blend in... he still brushes his teeth with Cool Mint Crest. Now just because mint is a natural scent I don't think it would blend in with the woodland fragrances. AND.... I swear there's something about the outdoors that does something to his internal organs because he cannot hold anything in. He's either peeing, pooping or farting every couple of miles along the trail. My husband says that its a natural smell which is why he can get away with emparting his odor in the woods without spooking the animals. Oh, I've no doubt they smell him alright, I think they just all rush upwind to get away from the stench, which unfortunately for them puts them right infront of him. I won't do it in the woods. I'm too paranoid about squatting over a rattlesnake, which is something my husband has actually done by the way... click here for the story... or getting caught with my pants down by a bear, or even worse... other hunters!
So anyhow, I'm pouting today. I really REALLY want to take my new camera down range, where the deer and the antelope play.... And the elk, and the eagles, and the beavers, and the badgers, and the turkeys........ If anyone could get me up close enough to get some photographs of the local wildlife its my stinkin', noisy husband, who really is the best tracker I know... but who'd rather be out with his hunting buddies than his wife. That is absolutely outrageous!
My husband went to Cabelas 
Its been ages since I have been out in the woods and even though I was sick, I jumped at the opportunity to take a drive down-range with Steve. We didn't have passes so we could only go so far, but that was fine with me, I needed to get out. Once we got as far as we could drive, we got out to walk in. Steve suggested that we take the road rather than to try hiking up the hill since I was still feeling the effects of the bug that had hit me during the week. That was fine with me, I learned long ago to dread the mention of the word 'UP'. It was a bad word in my book. So we hiked along the road, crunching in the snow and ice. The sun was warm, it was a beautiful New Year's day. But then it happened, we ran out of road, and it was either go 'UP' or go back. Steve suggested that we cut around to get 'HIGHER' so we could see better. I wasn't ready to go back so I agreed. We were half way up the cliff before I realized that 'HIGHER' was just another word for 'UP'. Steve had tricked me!
So anyhow we're hiking up a hillside covered with snow, which is a good thing because had I known what was under the snow I would never have attempted to scale the mountain. It was loose shale and cactus! And what wasn't covered with snow covered shale and cactus was covered with scrub-oak, which Steve pushed through and managed to hit me with the backlash every time. I swear he was trying to hit me. 
Finally I made the decision to pull out my tissue. There is no camoflauge tissue... I was stuck with pure white that flashed like a flag in the woods, and I blew! And the unthinkable happened... I ran out of room on the tissue! I would have to get another one. But what to do with the used one, now filled with phlegm? I rolled it gently into a little package, careful not to crush it and cause seepage... and I placed it in my jacket pocket. I did the same with the second, and then the third tissue. I think that I must surely be allergic to elk because it never failed, every time we sneaked up on one, my nose would start running and it takes every ounce of will power not to suck it in and give away our presence.