Saturday, June 5, 2004

The Birds and the Bees talk

My husband and I knew there would come a day when the kids would inquire about the birds and the bees, so we came to an agreement.  He would handle the boys and I would take care of the girls.  Sooooo, when my oldest boy, who was about 6 or 7 at the time, asked what the difference between a boy deer and a girl deer was, naturally I sent him to ask his father.  And this is what Daddy had to say:

"Well son, you see, the boy deer has antlers, and the girl deer doesn't"

End of discussion.

Tuesday, June 1, 2004


One thing I've never understood is why some hunters (my friends included) feel the sudden craving for sardines when they go hunting.  They spend all that money on trying to disguise their scent from their prey, and then they pop open a can of smelly sardines at lunchtime in the woods.  Yeah, I'm sure the deer think... "ah, its just some dead fish out there in the meadow, nothing to worry about, ain't no hunters nearby."  And canned chili or baked beans always seem to make it into the camper for the week long ordeal.  I always wondered about my husband's ability to bring home a deer or elk despite his gas and he explained that his farts are a natural odor and doesn't spook the animals.  I have my own theory, they just can't smell cos his gas will run me out of the house in 2 seconds flat!  As for his 'marking the trail', well, thats another hoot.  I swear he can't go 30 minutes without peeing or taking a dump along the trail.  He claims this helps to drive the animals right where he wants them to go.  Now there could be some truth to that one because I will avoid the bathroom at all costs after he's been in there warming the porcelain for more than a minute.