Billy Bull-elk says:

ANOTHER WASHED OUT SEASON

As it turned out I didn't get to go elk hunting this year. Dickidoo screwed up his back and wasn't up to hiking through the woods and mountains with me. Nor was he too thrilled about the prospect of dragging out a bull elk if I were to shoot one.

So we stayed home instead. yay.

Fortunately his back was somewhat healed by the following weekend and he was able to go out with his buddies for some duck and coyote hunting.

Hmmmm.... alrighty then!

ELK CAMP

Dickidoo is going to elk camp up in the high country. I won't be going. It's a guy thing. He and his BS Buddies (BS means exactly what you think it means...) will be gone for almost 2 weeks. My sister-in-law (his baby sister) is indignant for me. I am not.

The way I see it, while he's out in the woods climbing up mountains and cliffs, huddling in a crowded tent with 3 other hunters who by the end of the excursion will not have bathed in 10 days, farting chili and burping beans... I shall have the queen sized Serta to myself. I can take long hot showers without interruption. I can sleep through the night without being awakened by the suffocating stench of his flatulations.

I think it's safe to say that I'm just about as excited about elk camp as he is. In fact I think I might even help him pack!

"Take lots of clean wool socks and some extra blankets Sweetie..." (we wouldn't want you to have to come home early because it was too cold!)

HOME ON THE RANGE

Prickly Pear Cactus

Do you remember that old campfire song, Home on the Range: 
Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam
Where the deer and the antelope play...

Hello!?  Who wrote that song?  Were they nuts?  This is where the deer and the antelope play, and its covered with fricken cactus!  This is not what I want in the front yard of MY  home, thanks but no thanks!  You can't run barefoot or roll around in it.  (trust me, I've tried!).  I think if I were never to see another cactus plant in my life I could still live a happy and content life.  In fact, to say that I hate cactus would probably be one of the biggest understatements of the year!

BUCK FEVER!

My son Zack bagged a 4x6 mule deer this morning.  It was his first buck, and quite a decent sized one.  I don't know who is prouder, Zack or his father!   I have to say Zack was a real trooper, he works until 1am, comes home, goes to bed, gets up to go out hunting at 4:30am, hunts until 11am and then has to be back at work by 4pm.   I don't know what he's happier about, getting a bigger buck than his dad, or being able to sleep in from now on.

 The neighbors are used to us bringing home big game and hanging it in the garage.  Being part of a big hunting community, the children flock over to point and giggle while the grown-ups trade stories.  Today the little girl from down the street and her younger sister showed up for the first time.  They were followed by their cat Toonces, who is no stranger to our yard, which it sees as a huge community litter box.  Thinking the cat wanted a closer look at the buck which was in the process of being skinned, the little neighbor girl scooped the cat up and held it closer.  The cat caught sight of the buck and absolutely freaked out!  I don't think that cat will be squatting in my yard ever again!

A HUNTIN' WE WILL GO

I tagged along with my husband and his friend this morning in search of the elusive bull elk.  There was no warm up period, no leisurely walk in the crisp morning air.  We went straight up, straight away!  And these guys were power walking with 3 foot strides in comparison to my 1½ foot stride.  After a while they would realize that I had fallen behind and they would wait.  Then, as soon as I would catch up with them, huffing and puffing like an asthmatic, they would take off again before I could even catch my breath.

The guys would whisper up ahead of me, making plans and pointing up.  They would never share their conversation and plans with me.  I think they were afraid I would protest too loudly.  They were, of course, correct because there is no quiet way to say 'Hell NO!'  Was it just me or was it uphill all the way, both ways?  I really hate 'up'.

Our friend is funny.  He has an alarm on his wristwatch.  Every hour on the hour it beeps.  Every hour on the hour the deer and elk knew exactly where we were.  I'm sure they appreciated it.

My husband got caught without toilet paper again.  Oh, he packed it this morning, but left it in the truck.  He asked me if I had it.  Well, no, he packed it, not me.  He asked me if I had the pack of tissue I gave him last week.  Well, no, I gave that to him last weekend.  I ended up giving him a bandana to shred.  Will he ever learn?  Nah, probably not.

Ugh, chola!  I hate chola.  I've created a new game.  Its called 'chola limbo', except there is no bar to shimmie under.  In this version the object of the game is to see who can get the closest to a chola cactus without being stuck.  I lost every single time.  I really REALLY hate chola!

One more day left for archery.  For my friend's sake I hope he doesn't walk up on a big bull or buck right on the hour.  Beep beep!

FALL TURKEY SEASON

You get up in the morning, o'dark hundred, and dress in your Real Tree Mossy Oak Advantage jeans and turtleneck. Its fall turkey season and you're ready.   You want to be able to blend into your surroundings like a ghost.  You drive out to the field where the roost tree stands.  But before walking out to find a good spot to set up, you don your vest and hat.  A short hike and you are smack dab in the middle of turkey territory.  The woods are just beginning to wake up and you are almost twitchy with anticipation.  Slowly, almost teasingly, the sun rises and bathes the woodlands with its warm glow.  You are motionless, you are one with the woods.

Dude, you have a fricken flourescent orange vest on!  You almost glow in the dark.  The only thing you'll blend into is a pumpkin patch. 

Whats un-be-fricken-lievable is the fact that he actually got his turkey a couple of hours after this picture was shot.  Trust me, it wasn't because he blended into his surroundings.  Those turkey probably saw him coming a mile away!  If anything they came closer to get a better look at the Great Pumpkin.