Wednesday, October 15, 2008

ELK CAMP

Dickidoo is going to elk camp up in the high country. I won't be going. It's a guy thing. He and his BS Buddies (BS means exactly what you think it means...) will be gone for almost 2 weeks. My sister-in-law (his baby sister) is indignant for me. I am not.

The way I see it, while he's out in the woods climbing up mountains and cliffs, huddling in a crowded tent with 3 other hunters who by the end of the excursion will not have bathed in 10 days, farting chili and burping beans... I shall have the queen sized Serta to myself. I can take long hot showers without interruption. I can sleep through the night without being awakened by the suffocating stench of his flatulations.

I think it's safe to say that I'm just about as excited about elk camp as he is. In fact I think I might even help him pack!

"Take lots of clean wool socks and some extra blankets Sweetie..." (we wouldn't want you to have to come home early because it was too cold!)

2 comments:

Tabby said...

LOL, I just got a king serta and I look forward to having the big bed to myself too! Make sure he leaves the good camera behind for you :)
Tabby
http://tabathamax.blogspot.com

Call me Paul said...

ITS THE SECOND WEEK OF DEER CAMP
I GOT A SWOLLEN HEAD
I'M LYING WITH THE DUST BALLS
UNDERNEATH MY BED

AN ICY BREEZE IS BLOWING IN
THROUGH THE TONGUE AND GROOVE
MY PANTS ARE FROZEN TO THE FLOOR
AND I'M TOO SICK TO MOVE

I DIDN'T DRINK TOO MANY
ONLY THIRTY CANS OF BEER
IT MUST HAVE BEEN THAT LAST SHOT
THAT PUT ME UNDER HERE

CHORUS:
IT'S THE SECOND WEEK OF DEER CAMP
AND ALL THE GUYS ARE HERE
WE DRINK PLAY CARDS AND SHOOT THE BULL
BUT NEVER SHOOT NO DEER
THE ONLY TIME WE LEAVE THE CAMP
IS WHEN WE GO FOR BEER
THE SECOND WEEK OF DEER CAMP
IS THE GREATEST TIME OF YEAR

I REMEMBER PLAYING POKER
THAT WEASEL MUSTA WON
HE'S WEARING MY NEW SWAMPERS
AND SLEEPING WITH MY GUN

HE'S SNORING LIKE A CHAIN SAW
THE CAMP SMELLS LIKE A DUMP
SOMEONE'S DIRTY UNDERWEAR
IS HANGING ON THE PUMP

MUKKUS IN THE WOOD BOX
EENERS PASSED OUT ON THE STOVE
HIS FLANNEL SHIRT IS SMOKING
I WONDER IF HE KNOWS

(CHORUS)

VITOS CRAWLING THROUGH THE DOOR
I THINK HE GOT FROSTBITE
HE PASSED OUT IN THE OUTHOUSE
AND HE'S BEEN THERE SINCE LAST NIGHT

THEN GOOFUS STUMBLES THROUGH THE DOOR
HE SAYS HE GOT A BUCK
HE WAS COMING FROM THE WAYSIDE
AND HE KILLED IT WITH HIS TRUCK

THEN MUUSTI CRACKS A BEER AND SAYS
ITS TIME TO CELEBRATE
GOOFUS GOT THE FIRST BUCK
SINCE 1968

(CHORUS)