Thursday, May 20, 2004

Alternate forms of TP

I must admit that in all of the years I have been hunting, I rarely have to actually 'use' the great outdoors.  But when I do, you can be sure that I have a big wad of toilet paper with me.  My guys are the opposite.  They almost never have any with them.  Infact it is so apparent to others in our hunting group that he has been given the nickname 'Short-Shirt' for all of the tee-shirts he has shredded over the years to use as toilet paper in the field.

Okay, I'll admit that I once used some leaves, and once I was in such a hurry to pull my drawers back up that I broke off a bunch of small branches from a tree I was squatting next to and ended up with hundreds of pine needles in my britches.  But I have never been so desperate as to use snow... or worse yet, rocks!

Yes, I said rocks!  One trip my son had a real bad case of stomach cramps and took off over the hill to clear his intestines.  He used a few dry leaves to clean up and went back to where he was watching for elk.  A minute later he was hit by another urge and he ran back up and over the hill.  This time he didn't have time to be picky and he did his thing...  Unfortunately for him he was no where near any foilage.  The only thing handy was a bunch of ... rocks!  Boy, I don't know if these hunters of mine are adaptable and hearty, or just plain stupid!  Their friends are all proud of them though.  Must be a guy thing.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, I've squatted in poison ivy before...not a pretty situation.

Anonymous said...

once my dad forgot to bring tp so he had to cut off part of the tail to his flanel shirt, and he happend to be wearing that shirt to our faimly thanksgiving dinner and my mom and I knew the story behind the shirt, but we were visting his sisters and they all were asking what happend to his shirt, that was one intersting thanksgiving dinner